What to do if your child is being bullied

Topics mentioned: bullying, school anxiety, challenging behaviour, how to talk to your child about mental health

Bullying affects many young people every year, and anyone can be bullied.

Here are some things to look out for, and signs that your child may be the victim of bullying:

Sometimes there may be no signs, as your child may try to hide what's going on. What you can do as a parent is try to keep lines of communication with your child as open as possible. By focusing on listening and being non-judgemental, you can help them to feel they can talk to you about whatever is going on for them.

If you have a gut feeling as a parent that something's not right with your child, ask them about it in a gentle way. For more advice on how to start a conversation with your child about how they're feeling, as well as games and activities you can use to create a relaxed space to talk, have a look at our guide to starting a conversation with your child.

• Keep a log of incidents - This will help you during conversations with the school, and if you ever need to escalate the concern
• Try to maintain a positive relationship with the school - It can be frustrating if you don't agree with the way they are handling things, but working together will help you get the right support for your child
• Be patient but persistent - Schools have processes in place; it may feel as though progress is slow at times, so persistently following up with the school is the best way to ensure you are informed and action is being taken
• Don't be afraid to ask for supportive measures for your child if they're struggling - E.g. a timeout card, school counselling, introduction of a buddy system etc.
• Familiarise yourself with the school's anti-bullying policy - All schools are legally required to have an anti-bullying policy in place. Familiarising yourself with this may help in your interactions with the school
• Manage school attendance and refusal - Depending on the nature or level of the bullying, it can be a good idea to try to keep your child in school, as taking time off can make it harder for them to return. However, in some situations it’s very understandable that your child may want to take time off to keep themselves emotionally or physically safe – and this can be really difficult for you to manage as a parent. If you are keeping your child at home due to safety concerns, speak to the school’s safeguarding lead/officer and follow the steps above to make the problem clear to the school
• Escalate to more senior leadership if things are not improving
• Escalate to the governors if you are feeling unsupported by the school - You should be able to find their contact details on the school's website. If they're not available, you can request them from the school

Here are some tips for supporting your child if they are being bullied: