My hidden struggle with trichotillomania

Topics mentioned: trichotillomania, body image, self-esteem

About: Ruben shares his experience of living with trichotillomania, describing how it affects his daily life, confidence and mental health. He reflects on learning to manage the condition over time, including finding small coping strategies and opening up to others to feel less alone.

I’ve lived with trichotillomania since I was around 15. It’s a compulsive hair-pulling disorder that started small but grew into something much bigger.

It began quietly. Small pulls here and there, mainly from my eyebrows and beard. I didn’t think much of it at first. But over time it turned into a vicious cycle. One pull would lead to another, and I couldn’t stop. Triggers could be anything – stress, tension, even intense scenes in films or just boredom. I’d pull automatically, feel a brief moment of relief, then the guilt would hit. Sometimes the cycle would last for days.

At its worst, I started avoiding photos and sometimes wore a cap to hide thinning patches. If anyone asked what had happened, I would joke about a shaving mishap rather than tell the truth. From the outside, most people would never have known. It was a hidden struggle that I only shared with close family and friends. Being active on social media made it harder too – I felt pressure to always look confident and put-together.

Trichotillomania is estimated to affect around 1–2% of people, yet many don’t realise it’s a recognised mental health condition. It can affect hair anywhere on the body, including eyebrows, beard and even eyelashes. There’s still a misconception that it mainly affects women, but men struggle too.

There’s no cure. I still pull to this day. I haven’t overcome it completely, but I’ve learnt to live with it. I’m mostly content now, though it still gets me down sometimes. One thing that helped me personally was getting microblading on my eyebrows. Microblading is a semi-permanent cosmetic treatment where very fine strokes of pigment are added to the skin to make eyebrows look fuller. For me, it reduced some of the anxiety around how my eyebrows looked and surprisingly made the urge to pull less intense because I didn’t want to damage the results. It also gave me a bit of confidence back.

Over time, I’ve also found a few small ways to manage the urges when they come up. Everyone is different, but a few things that have helped me are:

The biggest thing I’ve learnt from this is realising I don’t have to deal with it completely alone. If you’re reading this and dealing with trichotillomania, please know it doesn’t make you strange or weak. It’s a recognised condition that affects more people than most realise, and there is absolutely no shame in it.

Speaking openly about it has already led to quiet messages from people who said they thought they were the only ones dealing with it. That’s exactly why I wanted to share my story.

If even one person reads this and recognises themselves, and realises they’re not alone, then sharing it will have been worth it. You can get through this – one day at a time.

For more on trichotillomania from Ruben, read his interview with the BBC.