Finding your feet after dropping out of university

Topics mentioned: school, university, work

About: Sofia shares her experience of dropping out of university and how by building her confidence in skills in other roles and activities, she realised that university isn't the only path you can take.

At school we are often told the only way to be ‘successful’ in life is to go to university and get a degree. When I was 16/17 I ended up really unwell due to the pressure I was putting on myself to do well at A levels, work out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and overcome difficulties at home. I ended up struggling with anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I felt I was behind in life and all my friends had it figured out.

I did well in my A levels in the end and went off to university. But I ended up dropping out after just four weeks. I went again the following year studying a completely different subject, but ended up dropping out again, realising university wasn’t for me as I had hoped. I found it incredibly difficult to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t be getting a degree. I felt like I was a failure and behind all my friends who were enjoying university life.

Despite this, I persevered. After dropping out of university the second time I was determined to find a job. I felt that working practically in a hands-on job was a better option for me. I applied for many jobs and after a few rejections got offered a job as a childcare assistant at a childminders part time. This gave me the opportunity to grow my confidence and skills while recovering from my depression. It also lead onto a full-time job which helped show me I’m capable of following my passion and dreams despite setbacks and challenges, and gave me the confidence to pursue a career in early years education.

Although I continued to struggle with loneliness and comparing myself to my friends, I gradually began to realise university wasn’t for me and that there are other options that often aren’t explored in school. I started volunteering at my local Rainbows Girlguiding group which developed my confidence further and gave me a lovely little community to get involved in. I completed my leader qualification and now co-lead my Rainbows group. I did a variety of online courses and webinars which hugely developed my knowledge on aspects relating to Girlguiding and supporting children’s development. This gave me a lot more confidence to be able to run and plan sessions independently. I find it very rewarding and enjoyable seeing a huge range of children with different needs engaging in activities outside of school, making friends and having fun. It gives me a purpose and allows me to do something outside of work that is fun and less pressured while giving back to the local community.

All of these experiences were helping to build my confidence, but it was a slow journey. I still continued to struggle with anxiety daily, and some days often felt too much. Therapy and medication helped to change my perspective on life and support my recovery journey, but I wanted to do something to really push myself out of my comfort zone. That’s why last September I completed a skydive for YoungMinds, which showed me I could do anything I put my mind to! I chose YoungMinds to fundraise for as I personally have seen and experienced the huge support YoungMinds offers to young people and parents struggling, and through my own mental health journey YoungMinds has been a fantastic support hub for me and my family. Completing the skydive was the biggest challenge I have done. It was an amazing experience and despite a lot of anxiety beforehand it gave me a huge sense of accomplishment, especially completing it for such a great cause. It also massively developed my confidence and allowed me to see that I could challenge myself despite my anxiety and that my anxiety doesn’t need to define me.

So, although my journey hasn’t been the smoothest, I feel I’ve learnt a lot and can use this to help others who feel stuck and lost after leaving university. It isn’t the be all or end all as it may seem – there is always another option or another avenue you can go down. It may take time but there is hope – you will get your spark back and a path that suits you and what you want in life. It’s not grades or a degree that define you; people don’t remember what you have achieved, they remember your values and what you stand for. Remember you are worthy and everything works out eventually; there are so many other opportunities waiting for you!